see disclaimer chapter 1
Dear Diary, Friday
Eddie brought home another date. I ran into this one on my way to the bathroom this morning. She was the usual type. Long, skinny, lots of hair, big boobs (probably fake). What can he see in them? Why do I care?
"What are you writing?" Lexa slammed her diary shut when she heard Eddie's voice.
"Nothing much," she answered, a little too quickly. "Eddie, I've made a decision." She set the volume down and faced her roommate. "I'm going to move as soon as I can find a new place."
Eddie was shell shocked. "What?" he stood there, shaking his head. "I don't understand. I thought this was working out pretty good. Why, Lexa?"
She couldn't look him in the eye, he noticed. "I just have to, that's all."
"Not acceptable. Again, I ask, why?"
"I can't stand to have you parading your women around in front of me!" she fairly shouted.
He grabbed her arms and shook her. "Look at me!" She wouldn't. "Look at ME!" Her eyes finally met his. Unshed tears filled them. "Give me a reason not to! One good reason!"
Lexa shook her head. "I can't!" she wailed as she broke free and ran to her room.
Eddie sat down on the couch. He tried to make sense of what had just transpired. He had come to realize that he was in love with Lexa, but he wasn't sure how to tell her. What was worse, he wasn't sure how she felt about him. Looking around, he saw the book she had been writing in. He picked it up and lightly traced the gold initials on the cover. 'I can't read it,' he thought. 'Or can I?' He fingered the pages. 'All's fair in love and war. I think this may be both.' He opened it and began to read what was
obviously her journal.
In her room, Lexa was already mentally composing her next diary entry. She reached for it, but the book wasn't there. 'Oh god, I left it in the living room! I hope Eddie didn't see it.' She peeked out the door. 'He's reading it! Oh god! Oh god!' Lexa was coming close to hyper ventilating. 'Calm down, it'll be ok,' she told herself. She slowed down her breathing. Soon she had drifted off into a restless sleep.
Eddie knocked gently on Lexa's door. After a moment with no answer, he quietly entered. Even sleeping, she wore a troubled statement. He longed to ease it away. He debated briefly with himself on whether to wake her or not, but decided this was too important to wait for later.
"Lexa," he called softly. "Wake up, sweetheart."
Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled up at him. "Hey, Eddie." Then she awoke a little more. "Eddie!" She buried her head under the pillow. He could faintly hear, "Oh god, oh god..."
Sitting down on the edge of her bed, he placed the diary on the table next to her. "Lexa, who's Tom? I know he broke your heart," he swallowed, then continued, "But I need to know what I'm up against." Blue eyes peeked out from under the pillow. "I have a lot of questions, Lexa, I need answers."
Lexa sat next to him. She spoke so softly that Eddie had to strain to listen. "Tom was my fiance. We had been dating for four years, when we decided to live together. A year after I moved in, Tom proposed. A week later, he was killed in a fatal car crash." Tears spilled down her cheeks. "My world fell apart." Eddie's arms wrapped around her.
"I'm so sorry, baby. No wonder you hurt so bad. I thought he dumped you, but this..." He lifted her chin so that he could see her eyes. "Do you still love him, Lexa?"
"I," she took a deep breath, "I thought so, but now I'm not sure."
Lexa blushed, her eyes sliding away. "You know why. You read it."
Eddie once again brought her eyes to his. "I read a lot of things. 'Maybe, could've, might.' I need to know definates, Lexa. I can't take a maybe when my heart is involved."
Hope flared in Lexa's eyes. "Your heart?" Eddie nodded slowly. "I didn't think you even noticed me. I'm not like the women you date."
A slow, sexy smile spread across Eddie's face. "Oh, I noticed you alright. Couldn't keep my eyes off you, ever since we danced and I held you in my arms. I'm surprised you never caught on."
"But what about that girl who was here Thursday night?"
"Carla?" Eddie chuckled. "Carla's a good friend. We were at a party and she drank too much. Her husband freaks out when she does that and I didn't want her to face him, so I brought her here. Lexa, I slept on the floor. How could I touch her, when I love you?"
A smile lit up Lexa's face. The first smile that Eddie had seen without a hint of sadness. "I love you, too," she whispered. "I didn't think I'd ever get.." Eddie's lips stopped her words.
Dear Diary, Saturday
Eddie loves me! HE LOVES ME! Last night was amazing. When Eddie kissed me, it was like kissing for the first time- the newness, the excitement. We kissed for hours. Can I tell you diary, that no one has ever kissed me like that? Like nothing or no one else existed in the entire world but us. I swear, time stood still. Last night was the first peaceful sleep I've had in over 6 months, and it's because I slept in Eddie's arms.