Three Bitchy Witches

This is a work of fiction and is intended for private entertainment only. All characters are the property of Marvel.
Rated PG13 for language and sexual content

My thanks to Kelly, who kick started my mutant muse and to Joan, who came up with a title when my brain was not functioning.

(just so you know, I have a hard time typing Rogue's
and Remy's accents, so you have to use your

Logan was scrambling eggs when Jean came into the kitchen. She made a beeline for the freezer and emerged with a pint of Ben and Jerry's.

"Nutritious breakfast. Red," Logan noted.

Jean scowled at him. "Leave me the fuck alone, Logan. I don't feel good."

One dark eyebrow raised questioningly. "And ice cream is going to make it better?" Logan didn't realize that the only thing that saved him from a scathing reply was a mouth full of chocolate.

'Ro entered and followed the same path as Jean, but came up empty handed. She whirled and spied Jean. A strong breeze began to blow through the room. "Jean, that was mine!"

"I didn't see your name on it!" the doctor retorted.

Scott entered in time to hear Logan say, "Ladies! Please!"

"Morning!" Scott studied everyone for a moment. "What's going on here? Jean?" He spied the ice cream container. "Oh no. Logan, we might want to vacate the premises."

Meanwhile, Rogue had snuck to the freezer. "Where's tha ice cream?" she wailed.

"Jean's got it!" 'Ro snarled.

"Scott, what's happening?" Logan asked. "Do they all have some kinda virus?"

Scott grinned. "No. I know what's wrong with Jean and since they're all acting the same way, I'd hazard a guess that all three have PMS!"

For the first time, Scott saw fear in Logan's eyes. "I'm gettin outta here."

"Right behind you, pal," Scott said. The men ran from the kitchen just as pots and pans began flying from the cupboards. Jean did not want to share her B&J.

Gambit found the two men cowering in the pool house. "Mon amis! Whatcha doin' out here?"

"We are hiding from the women," Scott matter-of-factly informed him.

Gambit started laughing. "Hidin from th' women?"

"Listen up, Remy," Scott said. "Imagine three very
powerful women all with PMS at the same time."

"You'd be wise to stay here with us," Logan added as a flash of lightning appeared on what had been a beautiful day. He looked out at the gathering storm. "'Ro's angry."

The Cajun headed toward the door, "I'm no' fraid of no women. I'll see you chickens later."

Scott's voice followed him out. "Don't say we didn't warn you!"

On the way to the mansion, it started to rain. Remy chuckled as he ran to the door. He was passing the kitchen when Rogue came flying out, knocking him down. "Cherie, what is goin' on in there?"

"They won't share tha ice cream," the young woman wailed.

Gambit was shocked. "Marie, y' don' need th' ice cream." he drawled in a soothing voice.

"Don't ya' tell me what Ah don't need!" the usually soft spoken Marie yelled, as she launched herself at Remy. The Cajun was no match for her strength. She wrestled him to the floor and pounded on his chest. "If Ah want ice cream, Ah better get ice cream!"

Remy did his best to deflect the blows. "I'll go getcha some!" This seemed to calm her.

"Really?" she said in a syrupy, sweet voice. "You would do that for me?"

Remy nodded. He felt broadsided by her mood swing. A mischievous gleam entered Marie's eyes.

"Ah guess Ah'd hafta be properly grateful." Silk covered hands caressed Gambit's chest. He gasped.

"I'll go right now."

Logan glanced out the window to see blue sky once again. "Guess the worst is over. Do ya' think it's safe?"

Scott shrugged. "Only one way to know for sure."

Anyone watching would have died laughing at the sight of two grown men peeking out of the pool house, then sneaking across the manicured lawn as if expecting an ambush.

The house was quiet when the entered. Almost too quiet. The guys found Jean and 'Ro in the rec room,
watching some sappy chick flick. Both were sobbing.

Logan took one look and backed away. "No sir! I'm not goin in there! Scott, I'm gonna go change the oil in the jeep." The dark haired man fled.

"Logan! Wait!" Scott called after him, but it was too late. Wolverine was already out the door. Scott snuck into the rec room. "Hey," he said, carefully. Tear filled eyes turned to him. 'Aw, shit.'

"Oh, Scott," Jean wailed and ran into his arms. He tried to comfort her as best he could. Considering he didn't really know what was wrong.

"Where's Logan?" 'Ro sniffed.

"In the garage," Scott mumbled. 'Ro left to find

Jean continued weeping into Scott's shirt front.
As he gently rubbed her back, she quieted. "Scott,
can we go up to our room?"

"Sure, honey," he replied, sounding confused.

When they reached the room, Jean used her telekinetic power to throw Scott on the bed and rid him of his clothes.
He tried to rise but Jean held him there.

"Jean, you know I'm not complaining,"he said, watching her
undress, "but what brought this on?"

An evil smile appeared on the red head's face. "I'm horny and I'm in charge."

Meanwhile,Logan was draining the oil from the jeep. He sniffed the air. 'Ro was just outside. He glanced around looking for an exit, but unfortunately, he was trapped. There were few things that the man, known as Wolverine, feared, but an emotional, weepy woman was at the top of the list. The door slid open and Logan steeled himself, ready to face his fate.

'Ro stuck her head in. "Logan, are you in here?"

He briefly considered not answering, but that would be
too...cowardly. "Over here, 'Ro," he called out. He watched her approach. He could never remember seeing 'Ro walk quite like that. She kinda slinked over to him. Her scent- warm, musky arousal, wafted on the air. Logan felt a
familiar stirring and 'Ro noticed.

"Happy to see me, Logan?" she purred. She reached for him, slid her palms over his chest and pushed him back against the jeep.

"'Ro, what're ya' doin', darlin'?" he took a deep breath when she started nibbling on his earlobe.

"Something I've been waiting a long time to do," she whispered.

Remy returned from the store, ice cream in hand, to find Scott and Logan lounging in the rec room. "So, you came outta hidin'?" Scott wearily nodded his head. Logan just sighed. Marie bounded into the room.

"Remy, did ya' get it?" He handed her the frozen
confection with a smile on his face.

"I'm ready, chere, for you to be 'properly grateful'".

"What?" Marie asked distractedly. "Oh, yeah. Sure sugah." She gave him a quick kiss on the top of his head. "Thanks, Remy." She ran off to get a spoon.

Logan burst out laughing at the dazed look on the
Cajun's face. "Expectin' a little more that that, eh,

"I thought... She said..." Remy stammered, "We were... she promised..." Scott started laughing too.

Jean and 'Ro came in to see them laughing, obviously at Gambit's expense. "Logan! Scott! I don't know what you think is so fucking funny, but you'd better stop it!" Jean scolded.

'Ro put her two cents in. "Leave poor Remy alone!"

Scott was incredulous. "Poor Remy?"

Before he could continue, Rogue stormed in. "Damn
it, Remy! You bought rum raisin! Who buys rum raisin!?! Ah hate rum raisin!!" She threw the container at him.

The three men looked at each other. Logan and Remy
nodded to Scott's unspoken question, then followed their leader out the door.

Inside the pool house, Logan asked," Are we hidin' again?"

Scott grinned. "No, Logan. It's called a strategic

They started plotting their revenge as storm clouds rolled in and items started crashing through the windows of the mansion.