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see disclaimer chapter 1
The next morning, Lexa was pouring coffee when she heard a feminine voice behind her.
"Can I have some of that?" Lexa turned to face a leggy, model type wrapped in a sheet. Lexa was standing frozen, staring, when Eddie came in.
"Morn..." he began. "Oh, Lexa, this is," he paused.
"Amanda," the leggy girl finished while shooting a dirty look at Eddie, who managed to look slightly embaressed.
Lexa took down three mugs after regaining her composure. "I'm the roommate. Nice to meet you." She poured coffee and fled to her room.
Dear Diary, Monday
In the past week, Eddie has gone out with two different girls. I wonder if this is normal for him. Try as I might, I can't help feeling jealous. Repeat after me, I'm NOT attracted to Eddie. NOT! NOT! NOT! But why at night, when I close my eyes, is it getting harder and harder to picture Tom? Did I mention how hot Eddie looked in his black jeans today?
Dear Diary, Friday
Had lunch with Aimee today. Asked her about Eddie. She told me that everyone at the studio knows that he's... I'm not even sure how to say it...easy? I so do not want to get involved with someone like that. Not that there's any chance of it happening anyway. He hasn't looked twice at me and I don't think I'm his type. I'm not sure if I was Tom's type either. I always caught him eyeing the tall model types. Just like the one's Eddie brings home. So what's wrong with me? WHAT AM I SAYING?? I do not want Eddie attracted to me, do I? Cripes, what would I do if he was???
Lexa was doing a crossword when Eddie emerged from his room. "Have a good time," she called out, not looking up. She jumped when he sat next to her.
"Why don't you come with me, Lexa? You never go out."
"Thanks, but no thanks." Lexa shook her head. "I'm not in the mood and I don't want to be left alone while you go chasing after some girl."
Eddie grinned. "C'mon. You have my word of honor that I will not leave your side."
"From what I've heard, you don't have much honor," Lexa retorted.
"Oh, that hurt," Eddie fell to his knees, clutching his heart. "You've wounded me Lexa." His clowning finally coaxed a smile out of her.
"Alright. I'll go with you. Give me 10 minutes to change."
Eddie picked up the forgotten crossword when she left the room. It was completed. His roommate was pretty smart. Something in the margin caught his eye. She was a doodler, too. But it was the doodles themselves that piqued his interest. They consisted mostly of flowers and hearts. And occasionally his name. A speculative gleam appeared in his dark eyes.
In exactly 1o minutes, Lexa exited her room.
"Right on time," Eddie said. "Let's go."
He took her down the street to a little pub. The interior was dimly lit and smoky. A bar ran down one side; a postage stamp sized dance floor was on the other. The tables that separated the two were only about half full. Lexa and Eddie took seats at the bar and ordered drinks. They chit-chatted for a while, mostly about work, then Lexa noticed Eddie scanning the room.
"I'm outta here," she said, standing up.
"No, Lexa," Eddie grabbed her arm. "I'm sorry. Old habit. I'm not looking for anyone, honest." His eyes lit up when a new song started to play. "Let's dance!"
"Oh, no."
"C'mon! Are you afraid?" Lexa shook her head. "You don't know how?" he asked.
"I know how to dance, Eddie."
He grinned. "Then there's no problem!" He took her hand and led her to the dance floor. The music pulsated around them. Eddie never once took his eyes from Lexa, as her body moved seductively to the beat.
Lexa had lost herself in the music. It had been a long time since she had been out, and it felt good. She didn't notice when the song changed and the tempo slowed, until Eddie pulled her into his arms. She stiffened. "Eddie, I don't think this is a good idea."
In reply, he held her a little tighter. "Just shut up and dance, Lexa."
The song faded into the next, another ballad. As the familiar strains washed over Lexa, she tried to escape Eddie's embrace.
"Hey, you're not leaving me here." He paused when he saw the tears in her eyes. "Lexa, what's wrong?"
"I, I," she stammered. A sob broke free. She fled outside. Eddie ran after her; found her collapsed on the sidewalk, horrific sobs racking her small frame. He gently picked her up in his strong arms and set her on her feet.
"You want to talk about it? he asked softly. Lexa shook her head once. "Ok." He kept one arm around her, supported her weight. "I'm gonna get you home."
Dear Diary, Monday
I am so embaressed. I completely lost it Saturday night. The song that played, it was our song, mine and Tom's. We were going to dance to it at our wedding. Will I never recover from this? That evening, with Eddie, I almost felt normal. I felt alive, or at least, felt the hope of living again, for a little while.
Eddie was wonderful. He didn't force me to talk. He just brought me home, made tea, then made sure I was tucked in bed. Under different circumstances, I think I could've loved him. It felt so good to be in his arms. I have to admit, at least to myself, that I cannot picture Tom anymore. The only face that appears before me is Eddie's.
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